A decade of love on and off the court

It is not unusual for my son to beat me when we play tennis and for my score to remain at "love" the entire game. The word "love" often is used in a positive way, but unfortunately for me, not when it comes to tennis scoring. That's OK. The tennis court is a place that makes my son the happiest and for that, I'm fine with having the "love" score because of the feelings I have had for my son for a decade.

We just celebrated Joseph's 10^th birthday. Ten years ago when my tiny baby came screaming into this world (right along with me), my husband and I had no idea that we would soon be entering life with food allergies. He had 10 tiny toes and 10 perfect little fingers. Our biggest debate was whether he would be a Penn State fan like his Mama or a West Virginia fan like his Dada. Well, even that turned out to be a surprise — my child is a Gators fan.

Within Joseph's first year of life he had his first anaphylactic reaction to dairy. One small teaspoon of yogurt and suddenly we were going down an unfamiliar, scary path. During the past 10 years, we have learned so much about Joseph's life-threatening allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard, along with his asthma. As our son has grown, so has the world of food allergies.

During Joseph's life, the number of people with food allergies has increased to about 15 million Americans, including 1 in 13 kids, according to Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE). With that growth has come more allergy-friendly products, advances in research regarding food allergies, laws to require better labeling and to ensure that epinephrine is required in more schools across the country, and even more options in the type of epinephrine self-injector available to save lives. The amount of support and resources has increased too, especially thanks to social networking. There are several products geared toward food allergies, such as cookbooks, children's books and even music, especially the songs written and performed by food allergy musician Kyle Dine.

But there is still much work to be done. For example, more research is essential to find a cure for food allergies. There is a need for more education about food allergies so that our children are not bullied and so caretakers understand all of the foods and products in which allergens show up, and that even one tiny speck of that allergen can mean the end of a child's life.

We have had plenty of challenges (both medically and emotionally), scares, trips to the emergency room and doctor visits. My love for Joseph makes my heart break when he feels anxious about unsafe food being near him, isolated when he's left out because of his food allergies or scared when he has trouble breathing.

But those challenges are just a part of living with food allergies. We have navigated food allergies and asthma while nurturing our sweet, funny boy and fostering his positive attitude while teaching him how to safely enjoy his life. As I watched Joseph play in a recent tennis tournament, I was thrilled to see him healthy and happy as can be running around the court.

I am so proud of my 10-year-old boy, whose inquisitive mind makes him a joy to talk to, whether we are discussing a book he's reading, trivia he has learned about his favorite tennis player Novak Djokovic or the latest Lego creation he is dreaming up. Just like lots of kids his age, he likes when I make pizza for dinner, has fierce competitions with his Dad on the Wii, cheers for his favorite hockey team, plays with his little sister, rolls his eyes when I embarrass him and has fun with his friends.

The day before his tenth birthday Joseph wrote in his journal: "When I'm 10, I want to read more, make more Legos, play more tennis, have fun and be a kid."

So as Joseph stands across from me on the tennis court and serves, — 15-love, 30-love, 40-love, game — I'm just happy to be a part of a game he loves.

Frozen pizza to the rescue

Last week, I was caught less prepared than I would have liked for an unexpected trip. In a blog for Living Without magazine, "Best-Laid Plans", I discuss my concern about my less-than-stellar backup food supply to feed my son, who is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard, in unplanned situations. 

But tonight, I found one more tool to help in those situations — Daiya frozen pizza. I never thought I'd be able to buy frozen pizza for my 9-year-old son and was so excited to find Daiya's new product at Whole Foods yesterday. We already love using Daiya cheese shreds to make our own pizza, nachos, baked ziti, grilled cheese and more. But to be able to put a pizza in my cart that could be ready in less than 15 minutes for a safe, quick meal is a convenience for which I am grateful.

Joseph had a bit of trepidation about trying the cheesy slices. After all, he is used to eating only food I make — not a meal out of a box. But I assured him that I spoke to a very helpful Daiya Foods representative about the ingredients. And once I showed him the box that says the product is free of the top 8 allergens and my email from the Daiya Foods representative, who confirmed it also being free of sesame and mustard, he was ready to sink his teeth into a slice. The pizza was a hit with both of my kids, who were also excited about the novelty of eating a frozen pizza.

While frozen pizza won't replace the homemade pizza I already make for my children, I'm glad to have a new tasty option to keep in my freezer. I'm thankful that I can turn to Daiya to rescue dinner on a hectic day or on an unexpected trip.

My Irish eyes are smiling

I'm not sure if it was the luck of the Irish, but I was certainly feeling blessed today. Shamrocks, leprechaun mischief and green-colored food mixed with Easter baskets and colorful eggs as we celebrated two holidays.

We had already spent some time during the week focusing on St. Patrick's Day in our homeschool with some writing assignments, learning games and crafts. Preschool math games, such as shamrock graphing activities by Inspiration Laboratories, are great because not only do they provide a fun way for my 4-year-old to learn, but also they give my 9-year-old a chance to help guide his sister with an activity that won't make him roll his eyes. Crafts, such as the "Roll a rainbow" by The Mailbox, also cross the age difference between my kids. They both enjoyed rolling toy cars in various shades of paint and using them to create a rainbow with a glitter-filled pot of gold at the end, of course.

It is such a treasure that there are so many ways to celebrate holidays with fun activities so that Joseph doesn't have to focus on his allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard, along with having asthma. But we also enjoy baking yummy, safe treats to celebrate, and I'm thankful that there are plenty of allergy-friendly options celebrate the bit of Irish in our heritage.

My children started the day following a shamrock trail to a green pot with some leprechaun prizes before eating shamrock-shaped toast topped with green sugar sprinkles, along with fresh fruit. Then we started planning our treat-baking schedule for the day. We made allergen-friendly chocolate cupcakes topped with green frosting, then made rolled brown sugar cookies from Cybele Pascal's "The Allergen-Free Baker's Handbook" into the shape of shamrocks. Once those were covered in green frosting and purple sprinkles, it was time to prep the turkey shepherd's pie so it would be ready when we returned from the Easter egg hunt.

As I watched my son help hide eggs for our food allergy support group's annual food-free Easter egg hunt and my daughter so absolutely excited to be searching for those colorful, prize-filled plastic eggs, I was reminded of how lucky we are to be part of NC FACES (Food Allergic Children Excelling Safely), a group that has helped us navigate food allergies for most of Joseph's life.

When Joseph told me he felt too old for the egg hunt and would like to volunteer to help hide eggs instead, I wistfully reminisced about all of the years when he was one of the young kids gleefully running across the field to fill his basket. But once again, NC FACES came through and gave him a fun, safe experience. This time, he was proud to be one of the big kids helping an original NC FACES member, Marysa Gavankar, who ran the event at a local park today. She had creative crafts ready to keep the little hands busy while Joseph and a couple other kids found hiding places for the eggs. Marysa also organized a game that had kids laughing as they threw plastic eggs across a grassy spot into nets held by Joseph and three other boys. And when it was time for the hunt, Joseph helped hold the banner for Pamela and the other young kids to run through as they embarked on their quest to fill eggs.

 

Both Joseph and Pamela had a blast in their own way at today's food-free egg hunt. As my children sipped their green, dairy-free milk out of shamrock straws and dug into their shepherd's pie, they happily recounted the day's activities. Once again, I am so thankful to be part of such a dynamic, caring allergy support group and to be able to attend events like the egg hunt that offer our kids a safe, fun way to celebrate and make me feel pretty lucky. 

A positive batch of memories

Today, I turned to the mixer and a favorite recipe to soothe my sadness. Each year on Jan. 8, I like to do something that my mom and I enjoyed doing together. Most years, I turn to baking and for the past nine years it has been an even sweeter tradition because one or both of my children help me make a sweet treat. Of course, I can always count on both of them to help me eat our creation, and the smiles on my children's small faces make it that much easier to mark my least favorite day of the year.

It has been 17 years since the day my mom died after a brief battle with breast cancer. My tradition of doing an activity that brings happy memories of my mom stems from the value she instilled in me to always focus on the positive. Baking was one of the many ways she showed her love to me through the effort to create delicious desserts and the lessons she taught me about baking. But most importantly, the time we spent together mixing up various creations left me with special memories and insight to pass on to my own children.

Today while my 4-year-old daughter Pamela and I mixed up a batch of allergy-friendly blondies I thought about how blessed I was to have had such a wonderful, positive influence in my life. She taught me through her own example to always look for the positive. Sure, things will sometimes make me mad, frustrated and sad. But it doesn't help to dwell on those negative feelings. Rather, find a way to move forward, turn a situation around, use a not-so-great experience to help someone else, and focus on the positive ingredients in life. That is the mantra I have held onto since my son Joseph's diagnosis with life-threatening food allergies nine years ago.

Sometimes it is challenging to navigate a life with allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard, along with having asthma. And those challenges often make me wish I had a mom to lean on for support. But as the mom Joseph depends on, I have always made sure we focus on what he can have and find creative ways to give him plenty of safe, yummy options. For example, tonight I made homemade pizza for dinner thanks to King Arthur Flour gluten-free bread and pizza mix, Daiya mozzarella style shreds, homemade tomato sauce and bacon. Joseph was thrilled to hear he was having one of his favorite meals. There was no whining about not being able to pick up a pizza from the neighborhood pizza place. Joseph is well-aware that the wheat- and dairy-filled pizza delivered in a box could end his life, so not something he's upset about missing. He's much happier expending his energy breathing in the smells of fresh pizza coming from our oven and excitedly asking when it will be ready.

My mom and dad and me on my 3rd birthday.

On days like today, there are moments when a positive outlook simply can't withstand the sadness I feel   missing my mom and wishing that my two children could have met her. I know that they would have had so much fun spending time with her and benefitting from her nurturing spirit. I can't put a positive spin on that void, but I can be glad that I have so many happy stories about her that I share with my children. I am thankful that Joseph and Pamela, who is named after my mom, know her through my memories and photographs.

The blondies Pamela and I made today are from the original Toll House Blonde Brownies recipe my mom and I used so many years ago. Of course, I substitute most of the ingredients to make it allergy-friendly, using King Arthur Flour gluten-free multipurpose flour, an egg replacer, Earth Balance dairy-free, soy-free natural buttery spread and Enjoy Life mega chunks. But when those blondies come out of the oven, the delicious result evokes happy memories from my childhood and creates new memories with my own children, all while helping my least favorite day of the year become a bit more tolerable.

F is for food allergies

F is for…

Food allergies. The FAAN Walk for Food Allergy in our area just so happened to coincide with the "Letter F" theme for my daughter in our school this week. We were among several hundred people, including many from our local support group NC FACES (Food Allergic Children Excelling Safely), who gathered on a rainy Saturday morning. The committee did a fabulous job setting up the venue so we could register, peruse sponsor tables and participate in activities under cover. The rain had slowed to a sprinkle while we all enjoyed walking around the lake. Even if it were pouring while we walked together, it wouldn't have mattered. It is a fabulous to feel the support the walk showcases.

Fantastic, not fearful. The annual event is a chance for my 9-year-old son to feel like part of the gang. Joseph's allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard don't isolate him or make him feel anxious at the Walk for Food Allergy. Instead it is a time when he feels support from the hundreds of other kids just like him, along with friends and family who gather just for all those kids with food allergies.

Fever. Yes, Pamela really embraced this "F" week theme. Unfortunately, she has been fighting a bad cold complete with cough and a fever. So she and my husband, Gary, had to miss the food allergy walk. But she was happy to wear her walk shirt to support her brother from home. While Joseph missed having them at the walk, he feels the support from Gary and Pamela in the way help keep him navigate life with food allergies each day.

Fundraising. The walk allows kids like my son to feel a sense of community, while also raising money to advance the efforts for research, education, awareness and advocacy. I am so proud that Joseph contributed his own money that he had saved, and even his little sister Pamela chipped into the cause with her own cash. My 4-year-old said, "I want to help my Joseph so he doesn't get sick."

Fall favorites. The food allergy walk is one of many fun, Fall activities we have been enjoying. Fall colors and shapes are natural subjects for various crafts that involve lots of colorful paint, glitter, paper and glue. Pamela especially enjoyed painting a big fall tree and then throwing colorful leaf confetti onto her creation. We recently visited a local pumpkin patch, where Joseph and Pamela had fun checking out the huge pumpkins in the field and choosing their own smaller, orange beauties to paint. My favorite find was the Long Island Cheese Pumpkins. Not only was I happy to find something connected to my Long Island roots here in North Carolina, but also I was thrilled that the pumpkin yielded wonderful puree to make tasty allergen-free pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread.

Fresh fruit. Thankfully Joseph's allergies do not prevent him from enjoying fresh fruit. Each season brings variety in the fruits we enjoy. Fresh apples and oranges are in abundance right now and make healthy, simple snacks that we have been eating each day.

Fitness and football. The weather, until Saturday, had been sunny and less humid. Perfect for all of the tennis my son enjoys playing. Whether he's been practicing, competing in matches or playing with friends, Joseph has been playing tennis about four days a week. He is having a blast and exercising his lungs, which seems to be helping his asthma. He also enjoyed playing football in his homeschool gym class, a sport we especially enjoying watching while we cheer for our favorite college football teams. So of course, I had to work football into our "F theme" week and brought out the football beanbag toss game to play in school. The kids have fun with a little math thrown in.

 

Fudge. Pamela was thrilled when I mentioned that fudge starts with "F." So we pulled out the allergy-friendly recipe for fudge that we use each year during the holidays. I use the "Oh Fudge" recipe from "The Divvies Bakery Cookbook", using Vance's DariFree milk alternative and Enjoy Life Mega Chunks. What a treat to indulge in the melt-in-your-mouth chocolate! It certainly brought a smile to Pamela's face during a week she's been sad because being sick has meant she's had to miss fun events like the food allergy walk and her dance class.

Footprints. Pamela will be stepping her little bare feet in various colors of paint and walking across a long sheet of paper to make footprints as one of our "F" week crafts. It is such a messy, fun craft. I'm sure we will be enjoying more fun, Fall activities even after "F" week is over. I'm glad that we were able to participate in the FAAN Walk for Food allergy so that Joseph was able to feel the support of hundreds of people leaving their footprints of support for kids like him with food allergies.

Fellow chocolate lovers learn patience

We have been reading the delightful book, "Betty Bunny Loves Chocolate Cake" by Michael B. Kaplan, every night for the past week. The story of a precocious, young bunny who has a tough time waiting to indulge in her slice of yummy chocolate cake quickly became a favorite for my 4-year-old daughter Pamela when she borrowed it from the library months ago. She was thrilled to find it in a bookstore this week.

So each night, my daughter and I fall asleep dreaming of chocolate cake. Since we are chocolate lovers just like Betty Bunny, we decided it was time to make a chocolate cake for ourselves. We also love college football in this house, so I decided the chocolate cake should have football picks decorating the top so that I could pass it off as football Saturday cake.

We made the cake using King Arthur Flour's Gluten-Free Chocolate Cake mix and Cybele Pascal's recipe for chocolate buttercream frosting from The Allergen-Free Baker's Handbook. I had told Pamela the night before that we would make the cake, so she had to demonstrate some of the patience Betty Bunny struggles with waiting for her cake. The dessert followed homemade chicken noodle soup — another favorite for Pamela. That meal also requires patience as I make the broth by simmering a chicken carcass, onion, parsley, celery and carrots one day and then make the broth, chicken and vegetables into soup with Tinkyada gluten-free rice pasta the next day. But everyone at the table agreed that our allergen-free meal of chicken noodle soup with bread made from King Arthur Flour Gluten-Free Bread mix, followed by chocolate cake, was worth the wait.

Nine years ago, when we embarked on life with food allergies, I needed patience to make recipes work with substitutions and to find products that are safe and taste great. Those also were worth the wait as we are eating much better than we did at the start of this journey.

We are gearing up for an event this month that help support my 9-year-old son, who is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard. The FAAN (Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network) Walk for Food Allergy, which is held throughout the United States, raises money for education, advocacy, awareness and research for food allergies. Sometimes it tests my patience to wait for more people to understand what it's like for my son to live with the knowledge that one bite of food could kill him, or for research to progress to the point of a cure.

But each year, when we walk with hundreds of others who do understand, and who are at an event to support my son and the nearly 6 million children like him with food allergies, it makes it that much easier to wait for change. We await the food allergy walk each year and it is so wonderful to indulge in a day of fun and support, just like Betty Bunny enjoyed satisfying her need for chocolate.

Author's message resonates beyond sports

Joseph sat on the edge of his seat, occasionally chuckling, as he listened to sports journalist Mike Lupica relate anecdotes from the world of sports and explain how he comes up with story ideas during a book signing for his latest book, "True Legend". My 9-year-old son was so excited to meet a famous author of books he enjoys and it was extra exciting that he met Lupica on the day the new book came out.

Joseph especially enjoyed listening to the sportswriter talk about his inspiration for and process writing his first young adult novel, "Travel Team", about a group of kids who were cut from a travel basketball team. Lupica's focus on kids' resilience in overcoming adversity rings true beyond sports. Sure, the theme resonates with Joseph from an athletic standpoint. More than once, he has had to brush off a tough loss on the tennis court and go back out there for another match, or deal with the disappointment of not being able to participate in an event when he thought he had earned a spot to compete.

But, as a child with life-threatening allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, milk, egg, soy, sesame and mustard, he also can relate to the need to rise above obstacles in his daily life. I am proud of the way he overcomes various issues, whether he is ensuring his safety by avoiding an unsafe food or event, keeping his head high while the target of unkind comments about his allergies, moving past anxiety about a potentially dangerous situation, or focusing on what he can have and do, in spite of his allergies and asthma.

The book signing is an example of an event that Joseph can attend without worrying about his allergies. I have always championed books and I am so pleased that bookstores like Quail Ridge Books & Music in Raleigh host authors so that kids like Joseph, who love to read, can be inspired. It also is wonderful that the organizers keep it simple and focused on the reason people are there, without adding food into the mix. Joseph and all the other kids just wanted to hear what Lupica had to say. Nobody was thinking about snacks while they were hanging on every word to gain insight about the new book's characters.

Joseph was thrilled to meet an author who has already given him joy through his stories and perhaps, a bit of a boost about the honor in dealing with some of life's challenges.